Relational Psychosis

My heart bleedeth. Continually I am reminded of my lowliness, a stench of poverty. My Inadequency, they around me invalidate me on a daily. Insignificant I feel invisibile. it aches that I fade that mine light is dimmed in the eyes of my loves. In my soul I wrestle. My Spirit fights to free itself from the lusts of this world. The cravings of the eyes toss it to and from, Trickery hath been my portion deciet my choicest meal from the shadows of death. Its as though the constants of my world revolve around a dark soul. A soul so dat i cant grasp ir. As though my life holds on in its clows. They are conniving and evil yet wear a smile of good intent, their demenor, though seemingly harmless, carries a stench of death and seeks after man's very soul. Again I ache bt yet go unnoticed. Dessolation, rejection and the pain of emotional lonliness blurs my eyes. I cant fight, i cant breathe. I am intoxicated by them, their trade is seduction a cold play and lifeless relation. I seek my God to save me from my stupor, a pit of quick sand quickly swallows me and nothing to hold onto. The pain is as of a knife in one's loins, a dagger in the heart and on grows stronger by the minute. Where is my help oh Lord. I have lost my stremgth and in this moment art thee strongest. Under my skin they crawl like vermin with spikes for shells. They establish themselves in my stream by my validation and stir the pain of a wasp's sting. I know not how to overcome save to deny myself of the baseline. I wait on you oh Lord. Rescue me from this agony. Spare mine family and kids from the repurcussions. Raise not my children with this intent of dependence which feels like toxic empathy that just draws in all vampires. They suck my reserves empty, they leave me empty for they give nothing...nothing at all. ....Like a fix for a moment my body secretes toxins i have no dream to possess. It hurts, damn, damn, it stings, I long to scream for i am starved by the very thing that killeth me. Lived recklessly to appease a reptilia and sold bits of me.It is a strange pain this one. My faith is that in this moment oh Lord, when all human will hath failed and nothing works in my strength, I look to you for you alone are the source of my help. Work in me, speak to me, hold my hand and change my desires. Curb my cravings, tame rants and quiet my spirit Oh Lord,for my heart gives all unto thee.